


Breaking Character

by tox09



Category: Faking It (TV 2014)
Genre: F/F, Fake Dating, Set after episode 7 in a world where episode 8 never happens, btw liam's mentioned but he never actually appears as a character, karmy endgame, obviously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-02-17 11:44:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2308460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tox09/pseuds/tox09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not everybody buys that Karmy "got back together" after the whole threesome fiasco. Shane convinces the two fake girlfriends to step up their acting game if they want to convince the school they're really together. It becomes a bit of a competition for them. And Amy is winning. And Karma's not sure if it's a game any more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Public Displays of Private Affection

**Author's Note:**

> Basically I just wrote this because no one else had yet and I really wanted to read it. 
> 
> This first chapter is more of a prologue but I thought it was important to include it for plot reasons.
> 
> (Side note: that girl from the protest episode is a very minor character in this and I couldn't think of her name so I just named her Robin)

"I can't believe people still actually believe Karma and Amy are together after that threesome scandal." Lauren said. 

"What do you mean?" asked Lisbet. "I... kinda believe it."

"They basically made up on live television," Leila said. "Didn't you see the announcement?"

"Yes, and how convenient that the whole school happened to be watching. Didn't either of you notice how much Karma emphasized that none of it was Liam's fault? Seemed like nothing but a publicity stunt if you ask me."

"A publicity stunt?" Lisbet asked.

"Why would they do something like that?" asked Leila.

Lauren leaned into the table conspiratorially. "I have a few theories."

"Theories about what?"

Robin and a bunch of other girls had just walked up to the lunch table and dropped their trays. Lauren was surprised to see them. She'd thought that once the Liam hatred blew over, Robin and her hotties would move on, but it seemed that they still considered Lauren a friend. She knew that wouldn't last long though, not unless they had a common enemy.

"My theories regarding Karma and Amy's fake relationship."

Her comment drew a mix of reactions. From angry outbursts to looks of worry and confusion. Robin simply asked, "What makes you think that?"

"You'll notice that they only hold hands when there are a lot of people around to see it." Lauren said. "And they almost never kiss. And when they do, it's barely a peck."

"I've never noticed that. . ." Lisbet chimed in.

"That's because you don't pay attention," Lauren snapped. "If you did, you would see how obvious it that Karma and Amy faked getting back together."

"Why the hell would they do that?" One of the hotties asked. "Why would anyone pretend to date their ex?"

"I don't know all the details, but it seems pretty obvious to me that one of them was more into Liam than they wanted to admit. They're protecting him. Now that they're back together, everybody loves Liam again."

"Not that I believe this theory but. . . Karma did seem pretty fixated on Liam during the Squircle protest," Robin said.

"Are you kidding?" Leila asked. "If anything, it's Amy who's into him. Didn't you see that pic of them together in the hallway? They were practically hugging, and staring into each other's eyes!"

"It doesn't matter who it is, " Lauren interrupted. "What matters is the fact that Liam did break up Karma and Amy, and he is so manipulative that he somehow convinced them to fake a relationship so that we would stop hating him."

"That seems kinda far fetched," Lisbet said.

Lauren's head jerked to glare at her. "It seems far fetched now, but just wait and see. All you go ahead, doubt me, but next time you see Karma and Amy, go ahead and take a good long look at how they act together and tell me they seem like a two people in love."

None of the girls really took Lauren's words seriously, but she did get into their heads, and if anything, they were eager to find evidence that she was wrong. So they started paying more attention.

+

"Have you noticed that a lot of girls have been watching us lately?" Karma asked. They were walking down the hallway to lunch, hand in hand, and Karma could no longer ignore the blatant stares of some of the other students.

"No more than usual," Amy said. "I suppose it's just part of the perils of being super popular though."

"Maybe. . ." Karma said. "But I swear that Robin girl was staring at us in Spanish earlier. Like every time I turned around, she was there, just watching."

"Maybe she has a crush on you."

"I mean, yeah, that's probably it," Karma said. "Too bad I'm already taken."

"Haha," Amy said. "Well, we're gonna break up soon anyway, I give you permission to cheat."

"No thanks, she's not really my type," Karma said.

"Well neither am I, yet here we are," Amy lifted up their intertwined fingers.

Karma was saved from having to come up with a witty response by the sight of Shane, frantically waving them over to an empty lunch table. His face was stricken with panic

"Uh oh," Amy muttered. She hurried over and sat down next to him. Karma sat down across from him.

"What's up?" Karma asked.

"What's up?" Shane echoed, "You mean you haven't heard what everyone's been saying?"

"Sayin' whaht?" Amy said through a mouthful of her sandwich. She swallowed. "You mean the rumor that lunchlady Irma had an affair with a student?"

"Wait what?" Karma said. "I didn't hear about that!"

"Shut up both of you," Shane snapped. "This is serious."

Karma and Amy looked at each other guiltily and fell silent.

Shane took a deep breath. "People have been saying stuff. . . about you two. . . faking your relationship."

Amy shot a quick panicked look to Shane. "Who?" she asked.

Shane gave her a placating look, as if to say, _don't worry I won't tell Karma I know._ "Mostly Lauren and her crew, but a few others have started to suspect as well."

"What do you mean, suspect?" Karma asked. "Suspect that we're not really gay?"

"No no, they all know you're gay, it's just-" Shane paused, trying to choose his words carefully. "They think that the whole Liam-threesome thing broke you two up for good, and that you guys aren't actually back together."

"Why would anyone think that?" Karma asked, her voice rising in panic.

"Well, it seems pretty clear if you look at through Lauren logic." Shane explained. "You and Amy break up because of Liam. Everybody hates Liam. You and Amy get back together. Everybody likes Liam again."

"I don't. . ." Karma said.

"It's in Lauren's best interest to keep everyone hating Liam, so she's been trying to convince everyone that you two aren't really together."

"This is so stupid," Amy said. "If Karma and I weren't together, then why would we walk around holding hands everywhere and spend all our time together?"

"A rumor doesn't have to be plausible to gain traction Amy. It just has to be juicy. And to be honest, it does seem pretty plausible."

"What do you mean?" Karma asked.

"Well, it's just the way you two act together really. Listen don't get offended or anything but I can kinda see where these rumors are coming from when I see you kiss."

"When we kiss?" Amy said. "Yeah because two people who are faking being together would kiss all the time."

Karma looked down at her hands and said nothing. She knew Shane was right. Ever since the threesome, she'd been avoiding kissing Amy whenever possible, and when she had to do it, she made it quick. She tried not to think about why.

"I'll be honest Amy, you and Karma don't exactly kiss like two people who are super into each other. It's more like watching my parents kiss. Two old people who lost the spark between them long ago and trying to keep up appearances for the kids."

Amy laughed. "We're NOT having kids."

"What are we supposed to do?" asked Karma. "I don't want everyone hating on Liam again just because people believe some stupid lie."

"There's really nothing we can do," Amy said. She tried to sound sad about the idea of Liam being shunned by every girl in the school. She didn't do a good job.

"There is something you can do." Shane said. Amy did not like the glint in his eyes as he smiled.

"What?" Amy said. "Should we send out a press release to announce that we're really dating?"

"Maybe we could get engaged!" Karma blurted.

"Excuse me?" Amy whipped around to gape at Karma. "You are kidding right?"

"Okay, I'm just gonna ignore that and move on to the actual plan of action," Shane said. "It's pretty simple really. You two just need to up the PDA."

"Amy hates PDA."

"I hate PDA."

Shane rolled his eyes. ""No offense but, if _I_ had just gotten back together with the love of my life, I would be all over them."

"Shane. . ." Amy warned. She really really didn't like this plan.

"What? Face it. You two act like you're saving yourselves for marriage."

"What are we supposed to do?" Karma asked. "Have sex in the auditorium?"

Amy shot Shane a panicked look and tried to communicate _I do not want that_ with her eyes.

"You don't have to actually have sex on school grounds," Shane explained. "You just have to make it look like you wanna have sex as soon as you get home."

Karma burst out laughing. "So what, should I start undressing her as we get off the bus?"

"That is not happening," Amy said.

"I was thinking something a bit more subtle." Shane said. "You guys know the South wall, right?"

"No. No way." Karma said.

"What's the south wall?" Amy asked.

"You know, it's that big brick wall outside the gym where all the hot couples go to make out during free periods." Karma said. "The one you hate?"

"Oh gross. It has a name?"

"Of course it has a name," Shane said, "But after you two make a few appearances they'll have to rename it: Karma and Amy's Wall of sexual tension."

"I'm pretty sure people have gotten STD's just from leaning against that wall." Amy said. "I'm not going near it."

"Okay, obviously you two have some aversion to PDA but if you want people to believe you're actually in a relationship, you're gonna have to up the anti."

"What does it matter what people think?" Karma asked. "We don't have to prove anything to anyone."

"Actually, you do. Because if people start believing Lauren's rumors, they're going to go back to thinking Liam broke you up, and then they're going to slash his tires. And he just bought new tires."

"Maybe he could take the bus to school like a normal person." Amy said.

"Or _maybe_ , you and Karma could just make out in public a few times a day, and he wouldn't have to. I mean, it shouldn't be so hard, I'm assuming you guys hook up in private, unless you really are saving yourselves for marriage."

"That's none of your-" Amy started.

"Exactly," Karma interrupted. "We make out enough in private, we don't need to put ourselves on display at school too."

"What if you didn't have to put yourselves on display?" Shane asked.

"Doesn't PDA sort of. . . require that?" asked Amy.

"There are always loopholes." Shane said with a grin.

Amy did  _not_ like the look in his eyes.

 


	2. The South Wall

The bell for sixth period rang too soon, and not soon enough. As per the plan, Amy walked downstairs to meet Karma in the band room. Karma was already there, sitting cross legged on the carpeted floor of the practice room, strumming the out of tune guitar in her lap. She looked up when Amy walked in.

"Hey," Karma said, "Could you shut the door behind you?"

"Sure," Amy said. She closed the door of the tiny room and sat down. "It's too bad there's no lock, or this would be the perfect place to hook up on school grounds, that is, if we _didn't_ want to be seen."

"That's why its the perfect hiding place," Karma said. "Cause even if we get caught down here, people will just think we were in here hooking up."

"What if they hear you playing guitar?"

"The walls are soundproof so. . ."

"Oh perfect," Amy said. She took off her backpack and lay it on the floor to use as a pillow. "Could you play me that one song I like?"

"Fine," Karma sighed. "But I warn you, it's gonna suck. This guitar is a piece of crap."

They spent the next forty minutes or so hidden in the practice room, Amy scribbling out some overdue geometry homework, Karma fumbling with the loose strings of the guitar and occasionally playing so beautifully that Amy couldn't help but look up and stare at her friend in admiration.

Finally, with only five minutes left in their free period, they left the band room through the back door and crept through the parking lot until they reached the far side of the south wall. There were still a few couples hanging out there so they stopped short of it by several feet and ducked down behind a beat up minivan to wait.

All morning, Amy had been glancing out the window at the grimy brick wall next to the softball field and dreading it. Now that she was actually here, the whole thing just seemed more ridiculous than ever.

Once all the 6th period lovers had left the wall deserted, the two girls ran the few yards from the parking lot to the wall and got into position. 

"I'm not touching that wall." Amy insisted.

"Come on Amy, obviously, I'd be the aggressor. There's no way you would ever push somebody up against a wall."

"Oh and you would?" Amy said.

Instead of answering, Karma grabbed Amy by the shoulders and shoved her into the wall. She smiled in a self satisfied way.

"I am so going to kill you later," Amy said. "Right after I burn these clothes."

Karma just laughed.

Just then, the seventh period south wall crowd arrived. Amy could hear them approaching from across the yard. "They're coming. . ." Amy said nervously.

Karma reached out confidently with one hand and took hold of Amy's face. Amy held her breath as Karma leaned in. She kissed her gently and softly. Suddenly Amy forgot she was leaning against a grimy brick wall. She tentatively placed her hands on Karma's waist and tried to pretend she wasn't enjoying herself as much as she was.

Unfortunately, as per Shane's plan, it wasn't necessary for them to actually kiss for very long, or very intensely. They just had to be seen embracing for a moment by the other couples when they arrived. Then they could act as though they'd been there all last period and rush off to their next class together, hand in hand.

So they kissed for a bit, but as soon as the other couples turned the corner and got a good look, they pulled apart. Karma made a show of regretfully looking at her watch.

"We better go," she said, planting one more kiss on Amy's lips.

Karma started to pull away, but an irresistible impulse stole of over Amy. The blond took a hold of Karma's arm, pulled her back and kissed her hard for a long moment. Karma tensed up at first, but went with it. Amy had gone off script, but she could tell from Karma's smile of surprise that she didn't mind.

As they walked away Karma leaned in to whisper in Amy's ear. "Nice one, very convincing."

+

They pulled a stunt like that once or twice a day for the next couple of days. It wasn't too much effort to keep the rumors under control. And it was fun putting on a little performance once in a while. Karma and Amy's relationship status was well and truly cemented now. They'd even overheard a couple of people talking about how cute it was that they spent so much time at the south wall.

"Bad news ladies," Shane announced at lunch on Friday. "Your relationship status is being heavily contended."

"What?" Karma complained. "But we did everything you asked, I'd say we've gone above and beyond."

"People have noticed that you only ever kiss behind the wall." Shane stated.

"That's not true, though," Karma said. "We kiss all the time."

"A peck on the cheek here and there is not going to convince anybody." Shane said. "We need passionate make outs in between classes. Secret stairwell rendezvous. Sitting on each other's laps. People need to see how utterly disgustingly in love you are."

"That sounds like a lot of work," Amy said.

"Yeah, I mean, I could probably do it, but Amy isn't much of an actor." Karma agreed.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm a great actor. I lie to you all the time!" Amy said.

"You do? What are you lying to me about?" Karma asked.

"See?" Amy said to Shane. "I lied to her right now about how much I lie to her and she believed it."

"Listen, if you two need relationship counseling, I am not your guy. I am merely your PR manager."

Karma ignored him and spoke to Amy, "It's not that you're a bad liar, I just don't think you could keep up a lovely dovey act all day everyday."

"And you think you could?"

"I already do!"

"Shane, if you had to judge who loves the other one more in this relationship, who would it be, me, or Karma?"

"Obviously you, but that's besides the-"

"Are you serious right now?" Karma interjected. "I am so obviously way more into Amy than she is to me. I always make the first move!"

"That just means you're more confident. Everyone can see in Amy's eyes how much she loves you. . . but you? It's less obvious."

"See?" Amy said. She tried to act casual. Shane's words had cut a little too close to the truth. "I told you I'm better at this."

"Oh it is so on," Karma said.

Amy smiled, "What? What's on?"

"You'll see. Next week, the whole school is gonna know how desperately in love with you I am. No more holding back."

Amy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, we'll see."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was very short but just wait, next chapter shit gets real.


	3. Getting Into Character

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane gives some good advice, and Amy takes it.

Monday morning Karma greeted Amy at the bus stop with a kiss. Amy's heart started beating out of her chest. There wasn't even anyone around to see it.

"Wow," Amy said when Karma pulled away. "You realize there's no audience yet, right?

"Shh, I'm getting into character," Karma said. Amy's heart sunk to her stomach. "And you should too, if you don't want to ruin my whole performance."

"Sorry Karma, didn't realize you were auditioning for a part in the next Nicolas Sparks movie."

"Well now you do, so stop making it so hard for me to act like I'm in love with you."

"I'm sure it must be a huge struggle for you," Amy said.

The bus pulled up then, and Amy hopped on before Karma had a chance to grab her hand. She found an empty seat near the front and sat down. Karma sat down next to her, and made sure their legs were touching. Normally, Amy would've been pleased by the touch, but she knew it was all for show. She leaned her head against the window and sighed. The weekend had been too short and Amy was tired.  
Karma leaned her head on Amy's shoulder in solidarity. This wasn't part of the act, it was just something she did.

"You okay?" Karma asked quietly.

"Yeah," Amy answered. "Just tired. I didn't get enough sleep this weekend."

"Why not? What did you do yesterday anyway?" Karma asked. "I missed you."

"Stupid wedding stuff. I had to help Lauren mail invites. She made me lick all the envelopes."

Karma glanced at her lips. "That explains why you taste like glue today."

Amy smiled and pushed Karma off her shoulder playfully. "I do not."

"Yeah?" Karma's smile turned less playful and she brought one hand up to Amy's chin. "Let's find out."

Amy' heart raced. She hated how much of an effect Karma had on her. But she couldn't resist. She parted her lips as Karma kissed her. She closed her eyes and leaned into it. Karma was kissing her slowly, tasting her tongue with hers. Her hand fell away from her chin and slid down her neck. The feel of Karma's cool fingers on her skin made Amy's breath get caught in her throat. She pulled away and took a shuddering breath. Karma laughed.

The bus screeched to a stop. Karma stood up and reached down to take Amy's hand, "Coming, babe?"

"What?" Amy said, still slightly breathless. "Oh yeah, coming."

She'd forgotten they were even on a bus.

+

Karma didn't let up after that. In fact, she seemed to increase in intensity throughout the day. And she seemed to take immense pleasure in taking Amy by surprise.

Amy was digging through her locker, searching for her math textbook when Karma crept up behind her. Amy was too busy rummaging through old notebooks and scraps of paper to notice her. Her textbook was nowhere to be found.

"Looking for this?" Karma asked, snaking her arm around Amy's waist and turning her around. In her other hand she held Amy's battered geometry book.

Amy stared at her in surprise and snatched the book from her hands. "How did you. . .?"

But Karma didn't answer. She reached over Amy's shoulder and slammed her locker door, then pressed Amy up against it. Amy clenched her fists nervously. It was amazing how intimidated she could feel by someone shorter than her.

"I've got some bad news," Karma said softly. She brought both hands down to Amy's waist, and held her in place against the lockers. Amy's whole body sparked at the touch.

"Yeah?" Amy asked. She tried to concentrate on what Karma was saying, but her eyes kept drifting down toward her neck. The desire to kiss her there was overwhelming.

"Shane overheard some of the Lauren's girls talking. Apparently they've started to catch on to our south wall scheme."

"What do you mean?"

"You know that girl Robin?"

"Who?"

Karma rolled her eyes. "Honestly Amy, do you know a single person's name at this school?"

"I know yours, Carmen." Amy smiled innocently.

Karma held back a laugh and continued. "Robin. She's the one with the dark hair who always wears low cut red tshirts."

"Who?"

"Ugh, you're useless to me," Karma groaned. "Anyway, this Robin girl apparently goes to the south wall to hook up with her boyfriend every day."

"Good for her," Amy said.

"No, not good. She goes every day during 6th period. You know? The time when we're supposedly there getting steamy?"

"Oh. . ."

"Yeah, oh," Karma said. "So now she's been going around telling everyone that we're doing it all for show."

"What an odd theory for her to have," Amy said sarcastically.

"Amy, this is serious!" Karma said. "People are gonna start noticing now."

"Yeah, so?"

"Well," Karma bit her lip and slid her hands down Amy's hips slightly. "We have to get ahead of the rumors."

"What are you suggesting?"

"There's no way around it," Karma decided. "We're gonna have to hook up for real."

Oh god.

+

The day dragged by slowly in some parts and rushed in others. Amy couldn't decide if she was looking forward to 6th period or dreading it. Every time she saw Karma in the hallways her stomach flipped with nerves. How had she agreed to this? Why had she agreed to this?  
Well. She knew why. She would get to make out with Karma. For real. For an entire class period. Or rather, they had agreed that ten to fifteen minutes would be enough of a show to get the point across. Amy could barely handle kissing Karma for a few seconds. What if she fainted on the spot and had to be dragged away in an ambulance? Karma would probably still be oblivious to her feelings for her, but it would sure be embarrassing.

Thankfully, fifth period she had a class with Shane, so she could at least get his advice before going through with it.

Shane had saved her a seat in the back as usual. Amy sat down gratefully in her desk and sighed. "So Karma told me there's some people talking."

"Um, some?" Shane asked, exasperated. "More like the whole school."

"You can't be serious," Amy said.

"Pretty much everyone has heard about it. They're calling it the south wall scandal." Shane rolled his eyes. "I sure hope you and Karma have a plan to fix this."

Amy put her head in her hands and groaned.

"So I'm gonna take that as a no?"

Amy shot up. "Oh we have a plan alright. And that plan involves me and Karma, hooking up on the south wall next period. For real."

Shane's eyebrows shot up. "Oh boy."

"More like 'oh shit.'", Amy said. "Shane help me, please. I don't know what to do."

"Why are you being so doom and gloom about this? Karma wants to make out with you! You should be happy!"

"Yeah, she wants to make out with me in front of Robin whats her face and her boyfriend. For ten minutes. To prove a point."

"Oh yikes," Shane grimaced. "You might have a bit more of an audience than that."

"You're kidding me."

"Well, " Shane said tentatively, "It's just that, what with all the rumors spreading, people have gotten curious. I've heard more than a few people talking about scoping out the south wall during 6th period to check if you two will actually be there."

"I hate people so much." Amy put her head down on the desk again.

"Listen, Amy, I know this seems bad, but," Shane paused, and pulled Amy's face up so she had to look at him. "You have to take advantage of this."

+ 

The bell rang to signal the end of fifth period, and Karma hurried out of her class to find Amy. She found herself feeling oddly nervous. People had been talking. There was going to be a lot of people watching her make out with her fake girlfriend. She unwrapped a piece of gum and popped it in her mouth, chewing anxiously as she speed walked down the hall toward where Amy's class let out.

Amy was waiting for her outside the door. She was leaning against the door with her hood half over her face. She looked bored, but she smiled warmly when she saw Karma.

"Sup, babe," she said, and Karma couldn't help but smile back despite her anxiety. She grabbed Amy's hand and pulled her along.

"You are like, the coolest girl I know," Karma said, adopting a fake girly girl overenthusiastic voice that she sometimes did to annoy Amy.

"Tell me something I don't know," Amy said.

They continued on in easy banter as they walked. Karma reflected that it didn't even feel weird to hold Amy's hand as it had in the beginning. She had grown used to always having a hold on her best friend. It would have felt weird to not hold Amy's hand at this point.  
Before she knew it they were outside and walking steadily towards the south wall. Karma leaned up to Amy's ear and whispered, "I'm kinda nervous."

"Good," Amy said. "I'm so gonna beat you at this."

"Beat me at what? Kissing?" Karma couldn't figure out why she suddenly felt like blushing.

"At your own game. Acting. I'm about to convince the whole school that I'm hopelessly in love with you. Unfortunately, unrequited."

"Oh my gosh," Karma said. "I don't know where you got this idea that you're a better liar than me, but I'm about to prove you so wrong."

"It's not about lying Karma," Amy smirked. "It's about. . . performance. And I'm about to get nominated for an academy award."

"Oh yeah?" Karma said. "Well I'm about to win one."

When they reached the south wall, Robin and her boyfriend were already there. And so were a bunch of other people. Not all of them couples, not all of them seeming to have any particular reason to be there. But they had left a wide gap on the wall in Karma and Amy's usual spot, almost like they'd been waiting for them.

Karma suddenly felt very self conscious. Her classmates weren't trying that hard to be subtle about their curiosity. But Amy seemed not to notice them. She plowed through the crowd, pulling Karma along with her until the were both standing against the infamous south wall. Karma felt all eyes turn towards them in anticipation. But no, it felt too awkward, they couldn't just start kissing out of nowhere, not in front of all these people.

Amy clearly felt no hurry to get started either. She merely leaned against the wall, and blew her hair out her face, completely nonchalant.

Karma stepped toward her and stood on her tip toes to whisper in her ear. "Is this all part of your performance, or are you really this confident all of a sudden?"

"Shh, I'm trying to get in character."

Karma laughed and started to respond but before she could, Amy reached up a hand and cupped her chin. She nudged Karma's head back so she could look into her eyes. The intensity of her gaze made Karma forget what she was going to say.

"I missed you," Amy said, quietly. It wasn't even that weird for her to say. They often joked about how much they missed each other, even in between classes or when they were apart for less than an hour. But this felt different somehow. Karma could tell that she meant it in a different sort of way.

"I missed you too," Karma said, and was embarrassed when her voice came out sounding more timid and hoarse than she had intended. Amy slid her hand down her jaw and past her neck to rest near her collar bone. Her other hand held Karma's left hip, firmly yet softly. They weren't even doing anything, yet Karma felt completely overwhelmed by the intimacy between them. She wasn't sure what to do with her hands. They hung uselessly at her sides and she left them there; too scared and nervous to know where to put them at the moment.  
Finally, Amy started to lean in, and Karma tilted her head to meet her, but Amy leaned further down and started kissing her neck instead.  
They'd never done _that_ before.

And whoa. Amy knew what she was doing. Karma closed her eyes and grabbed onto Amy's shoulders, completely helpless. She was _so_ not used to this. It was sort of a rule of their friendship that Karma was always the one in control and Amy just went along with everything she wanted. And this was very much a departure from the norm. And Karma was kind of scared to admit that she liked it.

Amy kissed her where her jaw met her neck and moved down to suck around her collarbone. Was it weird to enjoy this? Karma let out a ragged breath when Amy bit into her neck slightly, and decided that no - it wasn't weird, it was just like having a boy kiss her, lips were lips. And anyway, Amy was obviously going to know a bit more about what felt good for a girl, especially in the neck area, so it wasn't like-  
Amy pulled back for a second and then moved to kiss her lips and. . . Karma lost her train of thought. She felt warmth spreading through her entire body. Out of nowhere Amy's hands gripped her sides and pulled her closer and Karma's breath hitched erratically.  
Amy pulled away suddenly and Karma opened her eyes to find Amy's green eyes full of worry and inspecting her intently.

"You okay?" she asked.

Karma just nodded, and kissed her. Amy kissed her back, and Karma felt herself practically melting into her best friend's embrace. Like, yeah, they'd kissed before, plenty of times, but not like this. Well, not unless you counted their kiss at the threesome, and that had been a fluke, Karma had decided, she hadn't really felt anything. . . how could she have? It was just Amy, her best friend since childhood, the girl she told everything to, the girl who was kissing her like her life depended on it and positively manhandling her right now.

Karma was suddenly aware that she was gripping Amy's arms very tightly, and she was afraid to let go. Amy was kissing her, it wasn't some weak show and tell kiss, it was real. She slid her tongue along the inside of her upper lip and pushed. Karma opened her mouth a bit wider and their tongues met. They pressed into each other and kissed slow, then faster and Karma's hands slid down Amy's back. It wasn't enough, she wanted to be touching her more, though she wasn't sure how that was possible.

Amy suddenly turned and practically picked Karma up and pushed her back into the wall. Then she pushed herself into Karma and brought both her hands to hold her shoulders against the brick. She started kissing her neck again and Karma had to hold back a hiss of frustration. Their legs had ended up interlocking, so that Karma's knees hugged around Amy's left leg. As Amy kissed her Karma found herself tightening her grip around Amy's leg.

She didn't know how much longer she could take this. Amy had moved her hands down her sides and was stroking along her stomach and her hips as she kissed her. Karma's ears starting ringing. She was pretty sure she'd entered another plane of reality, where the only thing that existed was the feel of Amy's hands on her body, and her lips on her skin, and the small pants of breath she could hear when Amy moved to kiss behind her ear. And just when she decided she didn't ever want it to stop, Amy pulled away.

Karma kept her eyes closed for another second, but opened them when she realized Amy had taken a step back and put her hands in her pockets. Karma stared at her friend with a look of wonder, not even trying to disguise her obvious flush.

"I think we should go," Amy said. She pulled out her phone and clicked it on to show the time.

Karma stared dumbfounded at the phone. They only had ten minutes left before bell. They'd been out on the south wall for almost half an hour. Karma couldn't believe it.

"Come on," Amy said impatiently. She took one hand out of her pocket and grabbed Karma's upper arm. "Let's gooo."

They walked back inside in silence. Karma was at a loss for words. She didn't think she'd ever seen this side of Amy, and she'd definitely never felt that side of herself. She glanced up at her best friend's face. Amy's lips were a bit more red than usual from all the kissing, and her hair was slightly tangled and puffed up from when Karma had run her fingers through it. And Karma realized that her best friend was incredibly beautiful.

"Oh my god that was disgusting," Amy said, "Did you hear some of the comments that Derrick kid was making?"

Karma had felt her heart stop at the word 'disgusting'. She'd thought, for a moment, that Amy had meant it was disgusting having to kiss her and she was suddenly, jarringly reminded that Amy was not actually her girlfriend, nor did she enjoy making out with her.

"Derrick who?"

"Heck if I know," Amy said. "He's in our history class. The guy with the greasy black hair?"

"You mean Darren?" Karma asked.

"Yeah, that asshole. He was being so rude, I almost broke character to punch him in the dick."

"What was he saying?" Karma asked. _broke character broke character broke character_. The words bounced around in Karma's head like projectiles. Right. Amy had been playing a part. Right, none of it was real. Karma knew that. She'd just gotten a bit carried away.

"You didn't hear him?" Amy asked incredulously. "Well I'm not gonna repeat it. But he was being really foul. Saying suggestive stuff about how he'd like to join in and stuff like that."

"Ew," Karma said. "No thanks."

"Yeah, like, wash your hair, and then maybe we'll talk."

Karma laughed weakly.

"But other than that," Amy continued. "I think we did pretty well, don't you?"

"You gave an admirable performance," Karma said without meeting her eyes.

"Why thank you," Amy said, "You weren't bad yourself, though I think we'll have to wait for Shane's verdict on who wins the Oscar."

"Shane was watching?" Karma asked in surprise.

"Karma, pretty much everyone who wasn't in class was watching."

"Oh god." Karma groaned. "That is so. . ."

"Empowering?"

"I was gonna say humiliating."

Amy laughed and Karma felt her heart flutter in her chest. Oh god, what was happening.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	4. Everything Was Different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler but w/e

"Can I just say, wow. That was absolutely. . . wow." Shane said.

"I know," Amy said breathlessly. "I was there."

They had just sat down at a table outside the Twain. Shane took a large gulp of his coffee and beamed at her. "I don't think you understand, Amy. Everybody with a sex drive who caught a glimpse of you and Karma today was turned on."

"I can relate." Amy said.

"I can only imagine how sexually frustrated you are right now." Shane said. "But please, tell me everything. How was it? What was going through your mind? Cause I can tell you what was on mine."

"Like, while I was kissing her?" Amy laughed. "It was pretty much a constant refrain of oh my god I can't believe I'm doing this I can't believe I'm doing this. And then the occasional, wow I am so gay."

"Welcome to my world." Shane laughed. "But tell me, what did Karma have to say after it all? Did she finally catch on? "

"Oh she just thought I was a really good actor." Amy said. She shrugged and took a sip of her hot chocolate. "She was pretty weirded out by all the people watching though."

Shane just shook his head knowingly. "Amy, I think you are being way too blasé about this. Karma was not just weirded out by the people watching. Please. She was totally freaked out by that kiss."

"What do you mean?" Amy asked. "Like in a bad way?"

"No, definitely not a bad way."

"How do you know?"

"Did you see her face when you pulled away? Cause I had a pretty good view and it looked to me like you just rocked her world."

Amy felt a rush of pleasure at the words. "I mean, if that's true, then the feeling is mutual, but I don't think so."

Shane looked around incredulously and threw his hands in the air. "Amy! This is serious! I honestly think Karma might have been converted today."

Amy bit her lip. "Stopppp. I don't want to get my hopes up."

Shane just shook his head.

+

Karma lay in her bed and stared up at the ceiling with thoughts rushing through her mind at a hundred miles per hour. What had happened to her today?

She couldn't get it out of her head. Those thirty minutes she'd spent in Amy's arms seemed unreal to her now. That couldn't have really actually happened could they? Karma rolled over and screamed into her pillow.

"Fuck." she shouted. "Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck."

She couldn't deny it anymore. She'd been fighting it since the threesome but after today there was no more denying it to herself. Amy was...

"She's my best friend. . ." Karma whispered into her pillow. "This can't be happening."

She shut her eyes tight and curled up in the fetal position. Even as she felt paralyzing fear at the thought of crushing on her best friend, she couldn't help but relive the events of the day. Not just the make out session, but everything. Holding Amy's hand in the hall, staring at Amy as she walked away, touching knees with her on the bus, kissing her. . . being kissed by her. . .

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Karma heard Amy's voice through the wall, "Karma, can I come in?"

Karma bolted up right. "Sure," she said in a squeaky voice.

"I know it's kinda late, sorry." Amy said.

Karma didn't say anything for a moment. She just stared at her friend for what felt like the first time. Karma had never seen someone look so good in jeans and a t shirt.

"It's fine," Karma managed to say. Act cool, she thought to herself. She felt like Amy could tell what she'd been thinking about when she walked in. "What's up?"

"I kinda wanted to talk to you," Amy said. "About today?"

Karma gulped. _Oh god, she noticed. I was too into it and she wants to break up because she's so creeped out._

Amy sat down next her on the bed. "I think I might've gone too far. And I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry!" Karma said. "It's totally fine, you didn't go too far, you went just far enough. I'd say you went the perfect amount-"

"Karma, I have to tell you something." Amy interrupted her.

"Okay. . ." Karma said, her stomach in knots.

"We're gonna have to stop this whole fake dating thing. It's not fair to you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean. . ." Amy hesitated. She seemed to be making a decision right then and there. "It stopped being fake for me a long time ago."

Karma's breath caught in her throat. Did Amy mean what she hoped she meant?

"In fact, it's really never been fake for me," Amy blurted. "I'm like, super embarrassingly into you."

"Thank god," Karma said, and she grabbed Amy's face and kissed her. Amy twitched in surprise but kissed her back. She pulled away a moment later though.

"Are you serious?" Amy asked. Her face was shining with hope.

"Please just kiss me," Karma said breathlessly. Amy didn't need to be told twice.

Karma closed her eyes and couldn't help smiling into the kiss. She ran a hand through Amy's hair and _goddamn Amy was a good kisser_. Karma's mind drifted into bliss as they kissed, but she jolted back to reality when she felt Amy's hand sliding up her thigh. Okay.  Karma started breathing a little heavier and she decided it was time to take control. She grabbed Amy's waist and pushed her onto her back and straddled her. Then she started kissing Amy's neck, like she'd wanted to on the south wall, but been too shy to try. She wasn't holding back anymore. Amy rolled her head back let out a soft moan. Karma had never heard anything so sexy in her life. She wanted to hear it again, louder.

Karma started kissing lower on Amy's neck, then onto her chest. She was just about to bite the bullet and take off her best friend's shirt when her alarm went off.

It was 7AM. Karma was alone in her bed with yesterday's clothes on. She must've fallen asleep while lying in emotional turmoil last night.

"Oh fuck," Karma groaned. Her mind raced as the last tendrils of sleep loosened their hold on her. Her first concrete thought of the day was one of realization. _I have a crush on Amy._

Her second concrete thought was one of overwhelming panic. _She can NEVER know._

+

An hour later at the bus stop Amy greeted Karma with a kiss. Karma felt herself flush and screamed internally. So this was going to be harder than she thought. How the hell had she spent the last few weeks fake dating Amy and not fallen over swooning yet? The whole ride to school, Karma couldn't help sneaking glances at her best friend. How had she never noticed before?

Amy was wearing black jeans and a baggy plaid flannel. Nothing special or anything. But god if she didn't look like someone out of a catalog. Karma mentally slapped herself. How long was this crazy fixation going to last?

"You okay?" Amy asked after they got off the bus. "You're a bit quiet today."

"I'm fine!" Karma said too quickly. She planted an innocent smile on her face. Presumably, Amy fell for it because she smiled back and grabbed her hand so they could walk to class together. 

"Loved your performance yesterday!" Lauren said. The various girls hanging at her arms giggled and snickered.

"Performance?" Amy sneered. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh nothing," Lauren said with icy sweetness. "I just think it's awfully convenient that the two of you just happen to show up the South Wall the same day that people start catching on to the truth."

"You got me, Lauren," Amy said. "I'm not really gay, and this girl I'm dating-" she held up Karma's hand for emphasis, "isn't even real. She's just an actress I hired. Fooled ya!"

A couple of the girls laughed at this, but were silenced quickly when Lauren turned to glare at them.

Amy pulled Karma's hand and they walked away.

"Fucking Lauren," Amy said. Leave it to her step sister to manipulate her every action against her. "Why can't she just leave us out of her drama?"

"Do you think people are really gonna believe that yesterday was staged?"

"Well if they didn't before they will now." Amy sighed. "People at this school will believe anything."

"Well in this case they're actually right," Karma said. "It was completely staged."

"You got me there," Amy admitted.

"Do you think..." Karma hesitated. "I mean, people are going to believe whatever they want and there's not much we can do about it. So maybe we should just... cool it with this whole PDA thing? I don't know about you but I've kinda had enough of it at this point."

"Yeah, maybe you're right," Amy looked at her shoes. "Why go through all the extra effort?"

Karma's heart sank. She'd only suggested stopping so that Amy would veto it. But now, it would be too obvious is she changed tact. But maybe it was for the best. These feelings for Amy would probably go away if she just didn't kiss her for a while.

"Okay so. . ." Karma said. "Starting today, we just act the way we normally would."

"Deal," Amy said. But she didn't let go of Karma's hand.

+

Karma kept forgetting that she wasn't supposed to touch Amy anymore. She kept reaching for her waist and remembering just in time that it wasn't necessary. Or leaning in to kiss her cheek put pulling away before she got too close. It was torture. She couldn't believe she'd screwed herself over so badly. They used to hang outside the door of their classroom and kiss until the bell rang but today they just walked inside. Why had she not appreciated this when she had the chance?

At least during third period Karma wouldn't have such a hard time. Their history teacher had strictly enforced assigned seats. Amy sat two rows ahead and one to the left of her. So there would be no surreptitious knee touching or hand holding in this class. It would have been perfect if only Karma's seat didn't offer a direct line of sight to the back of her best friend's head. She couldn't help but take the opportunity to stare.

It was really amazing how entrancing Amy was, especially considering she had no idea how intensely Karma was watching her. Karma didn't take in a word her teacher said. All she could focus on was the way Amy's hair fell down her back in gentle waves. And the way she tapped her pencil on the desk when she got bored. Karma almost fell out of her chair when Amy leaned back, stretched and rubbed the back of her neck. And then, even worse! She dropped her pencil and when she reached down to get it her shirt rode up a few inches and revealed a smooth expanse of skin on her lower back. Karma had to hold her breath to keep from gasping. Was Amy doing this on purpose? Karma literally couldn't sit still she was so frustrated.

When there was eleven minutes left of class Amy turned around and raised her eyebrows at Karma like she always did. It was their little inside joke that once the clock reached that time, it was okay to start counting down until the end of class. Karma smiled back at her and Amy grinned. Karma was filled with this overwhelming longing ache in the pit of her stomach at the sight of her smile. It was totally pathetic. Amy had smiled at her like that a million times before. Yet now it was different. Everything was so different. And as scared as Karma was to be feeling this way, she had also never felt so alive.

+

They'd only been in the hallway for thirty seconds when Shane materialized out of nowhere grabbed both of them by the arm and dragged them into an empty classroom.

"Okay what the fuck," Shane said once the door was closed. "Have you two lost your minds?"

"Let me guess," Amy said sarcastically. "People are spreading rumors about us. Again."

"To put it mildly!" Shane said.

"Sticks and stones may break our bones," Karma muttered and Amy laughed, shooting her an amused smile. Karma practically got the wind knocked out of her. Had Amy always been so stunningly charming or was this new?

"This is serious ladies," Shane protested. "You two go a few hours without PDA and Liam's locker gets filled with raw eggs."

"Oh shit, did that really happen?" asked Amy.

"Yes, I just came from helping him clean it out."

"Damn, people are getting creative."

"Laugh all you want Amy, but if you two keep this up I'm making it your responsibility to clean up the next one."

Amy frowned and crossed her arms. "Not gonna happen."

"What are we supposed to do?" Karma asked. "We go all out on the PDA and Lauren calls it an act, we start acting normal again and people egg Liam's locker? It's a lose lose."

"Lauren can talk all the shit she wants," said Shane. "It's easy enough to go out and prove her wrong."

"Please no." Karma said. She really really didn't think she could handle kissing Amy today. "I'd really rather not put on another South Wall show."

Amy shot Shane a significant glance that Karma didn't understand. Shane just glared back at them both. "You don't have a choice," he said. "It's either that or you buy Liam a new car when his inevitably gets torched."

"Please," Karma scoffed. "Like Liam couldn't afford to buy a new car. We both know he's loaded."

"He told you?" Shane seemed surprised.

 _Fuck,_ Karma thought _I'm shit at secrets._

"Told you what?" Amy asked.

"It's not important," Shane said. "And it's not about money. It's about the fact that you started this mess and you're gonna clean it up."

"Well technically you started it," Amy pointed out. "We never asked you to make us the most popular couple at school."

"Well Liam didn't ask you to have a threesome with him. That was your idea."

"It was _not_ my idea." Amy said with disgust.

"Yeah that one was my bad," Karma admitted.

"I _so_ don't have time for this," Shane said. "Listen, it's simple. Just put on a little show for our student body for the next couple weeks and I won't tell everybody your secret, okay?"

"You wouldn't." Amy said. She looked at him imploringly. Shane just stared back and shrugged. Karma was completely confused.

"What secret?" she asked.

"So many to choose from aren't there?" Shane laughed. "Maybe the fact that you and Liam have been hooking up since September? Or that you and Amy have never really been together? Or just the plain single fact that you're straight?"

Karma was speechless for a moment. All she could think to say in rebuttal was "Okay, but I'm not straight."

For once she thought she might actually be telling the truth. Luckily Amy and Shane both knew better than to believe her.

Shane just ignored her. "Okay, I'm going to go clean  _egg out my shoes_ and you two are going to go hook up on the South Wall the next chance you get or else. Deal?"

Amy glanced at Karma and shrugged. "It's up to you," she said. She was biting her lip nervously and Karma couldn't look away.

"Deal," Karma said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know not much happens but I just wanted to have a full chapter of Karma pining b/c I feel like we get enough of Amy pining. And I just want Karma to be the one to go through PHYSICAL PAIN and emotional trauma for once.  
> Let me know what you think so far??


	5. Or Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unabashed filler

Before Amy even had time to mentally prepare herself, the bell for sixth period rang and Karma practically dragged her out to the South Wall.

"Somebody's eager," Amy joked as Karma pulled her into position against the wall.

"Hey, if we have to go through with this for the next few weeks, we might as well do it right." Karma said, her eyes already drifting towards Amy's lips.

"What do you mean?" Amy asked.

"Yesterday was a fluke," Karma said. "If you and me were really dating, things would go down very differently."

"Oh yeah?" Amy smiled. "How would it go?"

"I'm about to show you, dumbass," Karma said. "Just give me a minute to get in character."

Students were already milling about around the wall and meandering through the softball field. A preppy sophomore couple was making out grotesquely two yards away. Amy cringed at the sight of their sloppy slobbery tongues.

"Oh god, I hope we don't look like that," Amy said, nodding her head in the direction of the sophomores.

"No way, we're way more refined."

Amy laughed, "Yeah, I'm sure we have the classiest PDA in the whole school."

Karma reached down and grabbed Amy's right hand with both of hers and brought it to her heart. "I wouldn't say 'classy' but. . ."

"Is this you in character already?" Amy asked.

"Shhh..." Karma brought Amy's hand up to her mouth and kissed it softly. "This is me trying to seduce you."

Amy laughed weakly. _It's definitely working,_ she thought.

Karma dropped Amy's hand grabbed her shoulders instead. Amy suddenly found it a bit harder to breath what with Karma staring her down like she wanted to eat her. But then she kissed her and Amy lost her train of thought completely.

It wasn't like yesterday when Amy had taken total control. Yesterday she'd been kind of ready. As ready as you can be for that sort of thing. Today she was utterly unprepared. After spending the whole day being completely platonic, kissing Karma now was like gulping down ice water after a week in the dessert.

Amy held Karma's waist and curled her fingers into the fabric of her shirt, trying to get a grip. But then Karma let out a tiny moan and Amy lost it completely.

She kissed Karma the way she wanted to every time she saw her. All those times she'd swept aside the impulse and pretended to herself that she could ignore the pressing desire, all those moments bubbled up to the surface now and burst through.

Amy used her grip on Karma's waist to turn her body and push her back against the wall.

"Stop it," Karma mumbled into her neck with her eyes still closed. "I'm in control this time."

"Then show me," Amy whispered, and kissed her neck.

Karma tilted her head back for a moment and sighed, sounding half frustrated and half... something else.

Then she took control. Amy' pulse skyrocketed as Karma spread one strong hand across her lower back and pulled her closer. She kissed her now like she had something to prove and there was a time limit to prove it.

Amy might've been embarrassed by how heavily she was breathing now if she wasn't so distracted by the way Karma was biting her lower lip and sliding her hand along the bare skin of her back where her shirt had ridden up somehow.

 _We're in public,_ Amy had to remind herself, _you've got to_ chill.

 

+

 

The bell for seventh period ripped Amy from her dreamlike state. She felt unsteady on her feet as Karma pulled away from her. Karma smiled self consciously at her and bent her head to the left, indicating that they should leave.

Amy was still trying to catch her breath from the experience as they walked back to the school but she managed to jokingly say, "You were serious about that whole 'taking control' thing, huh?"

Karma laughed, but she seemed almost embarrassed when she replied. "Yeah, I mean, I told you I would."

They glanced around, neither really willing to look at the other. They'd entered the hallway and all around them were students rushing around from class to class.

A few of the couples from the south wall were near them and one girl smirked at the two of them as they passed. However when they turned a corner, they walked right past Robin and a few other girls. Robin eyed them suspiciously as they passed and rolled her eyes. She started whispering to her friend, but didn't bother trying to keep her voice down. Amy got the gist.

She leaned down to Karma's ear and said, "She can't seriously still think we're faking it can she?"

Instead of answering Karma simply kissed her cheek.

Amy raised her eyebrows at her.

Karma just shrugged. "We'll just have to try harder tomorrow." 

 

+

 

Karma was living for the forty minutes she spent with Amy between fifth and seventh, Monday through Friday. It was the first thing she thought about when she woke up in the morning. It was what she thought about while she brushed her teeth, twice just in case, and while she picked out her outfit for the day she was always thinking _what would Amy like?_

School day mornings dragged on like nothing else. During her classes with Amy, even though she had no real excuse, she couldn't keep her hands off her fake girlfriend. She'd hold her hand under the desk during Earth Science, and kiss her quickly when they teacher turned around. When they stood together in the hallway chatting with friends, Karma always had one hand on her back or around her waist. She knew she was being too obvious but she didn't care.

She had a response ready for when Amy inevitably asked her what was up with all the touchiness. _I'm  just_  really in _character. Don't worry Amy, I'm not actually_  into  _you, I'm just ACTING._ But Amy never asked. Amy never seemed to mind. And sometimes she was even touchier than Karma was.

During their last class of the day, they sat next to each other at a two person lab table. The class was incredibly boring and Karma usually zoned out through the entire period. But lately she had been entirely alert throughout, incredibly conscious of the fact that Amy's hand was resting on her knee, her thumb circling over the fabric of her pants absent-mindedly.

As much as Karma enjoyed this habit, it was also cruel having Amy so intimately close and affectionate in school, only to have the illusion ripped away once they got off the bus and walked into her house. Hanging out after school was excruciating. No matter what they were doing, whether watching a movie, silently doing homework on the floor, mindlessly chatting from opposite sides of the room, Karma felt an irresistible pull towards Amy.

They'd gotten into the habit of sitting close to one another on the couch when they watched tv, like a real couple would. Amy usually had an arm around her shoulder. But that was normal. It wasn't that far off from how they'd acted before this whole fake dating thing started. It was expected. It would be less expected for Karma to lean over and kiss Amy like she did at school. Like she wanted to more than anything.

The only thing that got her through it was by looking forward to the next day and the south wall.

But then it was Friday. Amy was lying on Karma's bed playing some game on her phone while Karma folded laundry. Karma glanced up from a pile of shirts on her floor. Amy was totally zoned out, absorbed by her six hundredth game of solitaire, and Karma wanted to laugh. Amy was so addicted to that stupid game. Sometimes Karma wanted to snatch her stupid phone out of her hand and shout, "Pay attention to me!"

But right now she was glad for the distraction. This way Amy wouldn't notice that she was staring at her.

Amy's messy blonde hair was splayed out onto Karma's pillows. She was laying sideways on the sheets with her legs crossed. Karma longed to lay down behind her and wrap her arms around her body and kiss her neck from behind.

Karma sighed. _Tomorrow,_ she reminded herself. But then she remembered. _Tomorrow was Saturday._

 

+

 

Saturday was torture. They hung out all day at Amy's house, like they always did. Every hour was more excruciating than the next. Every time she lost focus for even a minute, Karma found herself unconsciously reaching for Amy. Twice she had to stop herself grabbing her face and kissing her, pulling her hand back when it was more than halfway there and playing it off like she was stretching or swatting an imaginary fly.

It didn't help that Amy had chosen to wear nothing but a sports bra and loose fitting pinny. And her sweat pants hung way too low on her hips for Karma's sanity. Was Amy actively trying to kill her? It was hard enough to keep from touching her, Karma didn't bother trying not to stare.

And then came the inevitable back rubs. It had seemed like a normal, platonic, friend thing to do only last week. Karma was really good at massages, ok? It wasn't weird. It was just sort of a tradition. Karma got to pick what movie they watched, and Amy got a back rub.

Only now, Karma could not imagine how she'd ever handled this before. She was sitting cross legged behind Amy with her hands firmly pressed into her shoulders. Some of the blonde's hair was in the way, so Karma gently bunched it up and placed it to the side.

It was strange, finally having permission to touch her. Karma slid her hands down Amy's back and pushed her fingers into her muscles. She kneaded her palms into Amy's lower back until she felt her relax and slump her shoulders. Karma was glad Amy couldn't see her face at the moment. She was even more glad that Amy couldn't read her mind.

All she could think was how badly she wanted to slip her hands under the fabric of Amy's shirt and feel her skin. And she wanted to move her hands to places beyond just the back. Yet at the same time, Karma was perfectly content with her current position. She felt like the luckiest person in the world.

She got to be best friends with the funniest, prettiest, most amazing girl in the world. And she got to kiss her on weekdays. What more could she want?

 

+

 

Sunday morning sunlight streamed through a gap in Amy's curtains, rousing her from sleep. The first thing she was conscious of was the warm body pressed firmly against her side. Last night, she'd made the conscious decision to lie on her back, arms to her sides with at least six inches of distance between herself and Karma. Somehow during the night they'd shifted closer. Karma was turned on her side, her left arm anchored around Amy's waist, her head practically nuzzled into Amy's shoulder.

Amy wasn't about to try to get out of that position. She closed her eyes, pretended to be asleep and hoped that Karma didn't wake up any time soon.

Unfortunately, after what felt like only minutes later, there came a loud crash from downstairs and Karma jerked awake, and immediately pulled away.

"What was that?" Karma asked.

Amy groaned. "My mom probably dropped something expensive." She sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes. "What time is it?"

"Almost noon," Karma said. "If we hurry, we can get to the girl's soccer game before halftime."

"Hester has a girls soccer team?" Amy asked.

"We had a pep rally for them last week, Amy," Karma said. "I _know_ you were there, we went together!"

"We have a pep rally every freakin' day," Amy complained. "You expect me to pay attention at all of them?"

Karma just rolled her eyes and hopped out of bed. "Come on, we need get dressed in something school spirity to support the team."

"I don't own anything red or white." Amy said. But she sat up in bed anyway and let Karma root through her closet until she found them both something appropriate to wear.

 

+

 

It was a cold autumn day and Amy wished she'd worn a thicker jacket, especially when she sat down next to Karma on the hard metal bleachers. It was like sitting on ice.

But it was nice, sitting together in the weak afternoon sun, surrounded by cheering students and supportive parents, the sound of the ref's whistle and half-hearted chants filling the air. It was cliche as hell, sure, but Amy couldn't help enjoying it, especially with Karma pressed up against her, arm around her waist. Karma's teeth were chattering but she was clapping and cheering along with her classmates, a huge grin on her face.

Amy stood up. "I'm going to the concession stand, want anything?"

"Something warm," Karma said, rubbing her hands together. "Like a camp fire or something?"

Amy smiled. "I'll be right back."

She walked across the damp grass to the shack at the edge of the field.

"Two hot chocolates please, one with whipped cream, one without." She said when she got to the front of the line. It wasn't a long line and Amy got back to the bleachers before the boys on the sidelines had time to start a new chant.

"Which one do you want?" Amy held up the two cups for Karma's inspection when she sat back down.

"You know which one stupid," Karma said, reaching for the cup with whipped cream piling over the top. She cradled the cup in both hands, willing the heat from the drink to enter her body. Amy smiled again at the sight of her. It always gave Amy the weirdest rush of pleasure to see Karma wearing her clothes. Right now she was wearing Amy's Hester Junior High Marching Band sweatshirt, a relic from her ill fated clarinet career. Something about it just felt right to her.

Karma looked up from sipping her hot chocolate and noticed Amy staring at her.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Nothing," Amy said. But then she laughed. "You've got whipped cream on your face."

"Where?" Karma licked her lips. "Did I get it?"

"No, don't move," Amy said. "I'll get it."

Karma obediently held still as Amy leaned in and wiped the whipped cream off her nose with her thumb. Amy's gaze didn't leave Karma's eyes as she did. She couldn't bring herself to look away. And before she knew it she had leaned in further and kissed her. Karma inhaled sharply but kissed back. Amy tasted chocolate on her lips.

Hot searing pain hit Amy's hand as her hot chocolate tilted too far and spilled down the side. She jerked her head back and cursed. "Ow, fuck!"

Karma opened her mouth in outrage. "That's what you say after kissing me? I've never been so offended."

Amy laughed out loud despite the pain. "Don't take everything so personally," she joked. "Not everything's about you."

"It's not?" Karma asked.

"Okay, it totally is," Amy admitted. And she wanted to kiss her again. But she didn't have an excuse.

 _Tomorrow,_ she thought. _Thank god tomorrow is Monday._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long wait for this shit chapter - I got a bit distracted by season 2!


	6. Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say thanks for all the super nice comments! And thanks for being patient with me. It's really hard for me to get back into the frame of mind to write this after watching new episodes every week. It's messing with my mind. 
> 
> But anyway, I hope y'all enjoy this chapter, it's a bit more dialogue heavy than usual, but I enjoyed writing it is so. . .

Amy's heart sank as she stared out the window of her fifth period class on Friday. It was still raining, hard. The grass outside was drowning in mud, and the field behind the gym was more of a swamp than anything else. No sane person would go out to the south wall in weather like this.

Their teacher started handing back their test papers from last week. Amy remember suddenly that she'd guessed on half the questions. She let out a heavy sigh and leaned back in her chair.

Shane turned to look at her. "What's your deal?"

Amy just shrugged and glanced out the window.

"Oh, you're upset about the weather?" Shane asked. "Please, some of us have real problems. What'd you get on the test? I bet you I did worse."

"Seventy-eight," Amy answered.

"Oh my gosh twins!" Shane said excitedly. "Wait nevermind, I got an eighty-seven."

"How the hell did you do better than me?" Amy asked.

"That's a really good question, considering I copied half your answers," Shane admitted.

"You're kidding."

"I guess I only copied the right ones." Shane said.

"Great," Amy said bitterly, glancing towards the heavy clouds once more. "Just my luck."

"Since when do you care about grades?" Shane asked. "Weren't you telling me last week that the public school system is utterly flawed and ineffectual as a means of measuring intelligence?"

"That's not exactly how I phrased it," Amy said. "And no, I couldn't care less about this pointless test. You were right the first time. It's the stupid fucking rain."

Realization flooded Shane's face as he looked from Amy's miserable expression, to the muddy courtyard, and back again.

"Oh Amy," Shane said. "Now this is getting ridiculous."

"What is?" Amy asked.

"You don't need some silly wall or a school tradition to make out with your girlfriend."

Amy blushed. She leaned into Shane's ear and whispered angrily, "She's not _actually_ my girlfriend, so I kinda do."

"She kinda is your girlfriend though, so you _actually_ don't."

"I don't think you understand the situation at all." Amy said.

The bell rang, and in the flurry of students flipping through papers, zipping backpacks, and trampling out the door, Shane didn't bother to keep his voice down. "You're telling me you two never hook up outside of school?"

"Never." Amy said.

"Okay, that is gonna change," Shane announced. "Tonight."

"What are you gonna do, come to my house and force us to kiss?"

"Nope," Shane smiled widely. "You're gonna come to _my_ house, and then I'm gonna force you to kiss."

"And why would we do that?" Amy asked.

"Because I'm throwing a party."

"What, tonight?" Amy asked. "Since when?"

"Since right now," Shane said. Then he puffed up his chest and bellowed, "Rager at my house tonight! Bring a dessert item!"

A ragged cheer spread down the hallway at these words. Shane grinned cockily at Amy. "I'll see you at eight. Bring some donuts!"

"You think you're so cool, don't you?" Amy said.

"I know I am!" Shane shouted. And with that, he literally ran off down the hall, shouting the news about his party to anyone he saw.

"Fucking asshole," Amy muttered affectionately.

"Wow, rude," said Karma, who had seemingly appeared at Amy's side out of nowhere. Amy felt her heart flutter stupidly at the sight of her best friend with her warm smile and long reddish hair falling down her shoulders in waves.

 _You literally just saw her an hour ago_ , Amy chided herself. _Calm the fuck down._

"Don't worry," Amy said. "I wasn't talking about you."

"You better not," Karma said. "I'm not about to go make out with some girl who talks shit behind my back."

"You're not gonna make out with me either way," Amy said. She tried to make the words sound casual. "Unless you brought rain boots and a poncho to school today."

"Oh right, it's still raining," Karma said. She looked deep in thought. "That's actually perfect because I really need to finish this stupid art project by the end of the day."

Karma's utter lack of reaction to the fact that they wouldn't be going to the south wall hit Amy like a punch in the gut.

"So what, you're ditching me?" Amy asked. "For paper mache?"

"It's a collage," Karma said. "And I'm not ditching you. Come to the art room with me!"

"To watch you glue paper together for forty minutes? No thanks."

"Come on please, Amy?" Karma asked. She tilted her head and twirled a bit of her hair self consciously. She seemed entirely too aware of how easily Amy could be persuaded.

"I actually have a lot of studying to do," Amy said.

Karma cackled with laughter. "Good one, good one. Almost believed you for a second there. Let's go."

 

+

 

It was a pathetic alternative to kissing her, but Karma did sincerely enjoy having Amy's company while she mindlessly glued scraps of colored paper to a piece of card-stock.

"I'm bored," Amy said. Karma pretended to ignore her as Amy poked her in the shoulder over and over.

Karma tried not think about how much she wished it wasn't raining. And how much harder the weekend was going to be now. She hadn't mentally prepared herself for this. Three days. Three days before she could put her hands on Amy's hips and hold her tight like she wanted. Karma would have gladly gone out in the pouring rain and kissed Amy's damp skin until they were both completely drenched. But that might have been too obvious. And Karma was already way too obvious. She'd only gotten worse as the week went by. Which was why she'd pretended to not even give a second thought to the rain currently pounding down on the roof of the school.

"Oh right, it's still raining." Karma had rehearsed the nonchalant line (And several variations) over in her head a dozen times before meeting Amy in the hall. Keep it cool, and casual, no need for Amy to know how utterly devastated she was by being deprived of her last chance to kiss her for the week.

"I'm bored," Amy said, now shoving her forehead into Karma's shoulder like a dog trying to get attention.

"I thought you had studying to do," Karma said.

"I lied," Amy said. Now she was playing with Karma's hair, twirling it in her fingers. Karma was reminded painfully of yesterday on the south wall, Amy's hand anchored into her hair, pushing her-

"And I'm still bored." Amy complained.

"You wanna finish my project for me?" Karma asked, gesturing at the colorful swirl of papers accumulating on her canvas.

"I don't even know what your project is," Amy said.

"It's supposed to end up looking like a tornado," Karma said. "I'm still working on the background."

"Oh," Amy said. "I thought it was a self portrait."

"Shut up, butt-face."

"It does kind of look like a butt-face," Amy said.

"I hate you," Karma said through a smile.

"No you don't," Amy said.

"I do, I truly hate you."

"If you really hated me could I do this?" Amy asked. And she leaned over lightning quick to kiss Karma on the cheek.

Karma tried not to blush. "Kiss me all you want, doesn't mean I enjoy it."

"Poor choice of words Karma," Amy said. And she swooped in again to kiss Karma on the ear, then on the chin, then on the lips, quick, quick, quick. There were other students in the art room, Karma knew that, she knew people were watching, and she knew that Amy knew, but she tried not to know.

"Still hate you," Karma said. "I hate you even more than before now."

"Hate is a strong word."

"It's also a strong emotion."

"Karma," Amy said.

"What?"

"Karma."

"I swear to god Amy."

"Karma."

"What!"

"I'm really bored."

Karma threw her glue stick at her.

 

+

 

Amy showed up at her door at eight o'clock with a wilting flower in her hand. She was wearing a black v-neck and jeans and Karma was honestly offended by how good she looked in something so simple.

"Is that supposed to be for me?" Karma asked, glancing at the frayed flower.

"I found it on the side of the road on my way over," Amy said. She curtsied dramatically and held the flower out like a fabulous jewel. "A symbol of my love for you."

Karma swatted the flower out of her hand in mock offense, all the while feeling oddly giddy. "You are literally so rude. I can't believe I'm supposed to be dating you."

"I can't believe you just threw a symbol of our love onto the ground!"

 

"Shush. We can find a better one at the party," Karma said. "I bet Shane has a nice garden in his backyard."

"We've both been to a party at his house before, and no he doesn't."

"Oh right, that party." Karma said. "That feels like so long ago. . . Everything is so different now."

"It really is," Amy said. They lapsed into silence, both contemplating the depth and quality of the difference.

 

+

 

Considering that Shane had announced that he was having a party mere hours before, the turnout was quite large, and it wasn't even 9PM yet. And everyone had brought desserts. Every flat surface was littered with brownies, store bought cake, some homemade cake, a surprising number of cannolis, and more cupcakes than there were people. And there were a lot of people.

"But not a single donut," Amy muttered to herself.

"Oh hush," Karma said, "Here, have some tiramisu."

"Okay, who the hell brought tiramisu?" Amy complained. "Literally the snobbiest dessert on the planet."

Karma let out a loud cough that sounded oddly like the word "croquembouche" and Amy laughed uproariously.

"Excuse me," Shane said loudly, approaching from the kitchen, "but you can't complain about the food options if you didn't bring anything."

"I brought something!" Karma shouted excitedly. She rooted around in her jacket pocket and pulled out a jumbo size Hershey bar. "Plenty to go around!"

"Better than nothing I suppose," Shane allowed. "Amy, did you bring anything delectable this evening?"

"I brought Karma." Amy said.

" _Gag me_ ," Shane said, and he walked off to entertain his other guests.

"That was literally the most disgustingly cheesy thing you've ever said to me," Karma said. She shoved her best friend's shoulder halfheartedly. "I literally can't even look at you right now."

But truthfully, Karma couldn't look away. Amy was doubled over in embarrassed laughter, her blonde hair flying into her face. "I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it..." she gasped. "That was. . . poorly phrased."

"You're a mess," Karma said. She grabbed Amy by the arm and pulled her from the room. "Come on, let's go out back, where the real party is."  


"Yeah yeah, sure," Amy said. One hand still covering her face in shame, she muttered, "God, I'm bad at flirting."

 

+

 

Karma wasn't sure what time it was. (half past one) And she wasn't certain what exactly was in the cannolis she'd been eating. (ALOT of sugar) And she had absolutely no idea where Amy was. (Dancing poorly in Shane's living room.)

Karma finally spotted her amidst the hordes of sweaty teens thrashing in Shane's living room, which had temporarily been turned into a low budget dance club, full of pounding beats and flashing rainbow lights. There was Amy, her absolutely absurd best friend, fist pumping to a loud drum and bass song that she would claim to hate in the light of day. Karma pushed her way through the crowd and joined her.

"Karma!" Amy shouted over the music. "There you are!"

"Here I am!" Karma shouted back. Amy grabbed her hands and pulled them into the air, waving them around to the beat.

"I hate this song!" Amy shouted.

"It's really awful!" Karma agreed. Her ears were ringing. Suddenly the song changed.

"Finally!" Amy cheered.

But along with the song the people around them changed. It was one of those songs you were supposed to grind to. Karma's eyes widened as she watched her classmates suddenly get incredibly intimately, graphically close to one another.

Amy didn't miss a beat though. She reached down for Karma's waist, pulled her close and didn't let go as she swayed to the music.  
It was all too much for Karma to handle. _I didn't get to kiss her today,_ was all Karma could think. _I should kiss her now._

Amy spun her around so her back was to her, and slid her hands down to get a firmer grip on her waist. Karma could hardly breathe. She didn't know to do with her hands, but she wanted desperately for Amy not to remove hers, so she laced their fingers together and held her in place.

Amy was wrapped around her tightly, their bodies touching in ways Karma hadn't dared to ever hope they would. Amy's lips were on her neck, not kissing her, just there, breathing, sliding across her skin, but Karma needed Amy to be kissing her. But she didn't dare turn around, not when Amy's hands were sliding up and down her thighs like that and her hips were pressing into her hips. She could hear music, but it wasn't coming from the speakers overhead. It was coming from somewhere else. And the flashing lights kept flashing even when she closed her eyes.

Finally, Karma couldn't stand it anymore. She turned around to face her. Amy's hand's slid from her sides, but Karma grabbed them and placed them back on her hips. She closed her eyes. She didn't need to see to know where Amy's lips were. She knew.

Amy opened her mouth immediately on contact. If Karma had her eyes open she would have seen Amy's wild smile turn serious, and her eyes go dark. She felt Amy's grip on her tighten, and she swayed on the spot as Amy's lips meshed with hers, her tongue pressing upwards and down.

It was a joke. A joke she'd told herself that she could possible last three full days with out this. Hell, she didn't know how she would last a day without this. An hour or a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, I know, Shane throwing a party is a bit overused. Oops
> 
>    
> :::: hey if you want you can reblog the [ **masterpost** ](http://essentialorphan.tumblr.com/post/99554350681/breaking-character-pairing-karma-amy-wordcount) for this fic ::::
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I didn't proofread this as thoroughly as I should have so, please let me know about any jarring errors you notice:)


	7. Carried Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the shortest chapters yet it took me the longest to write. Go figure

Amy tried to focus on the sheet of formulas in front of her, but she couldn't. She was sitting on the floor of Karma's bedroom, papers and textbooks spread out between them, trying to finish an immensely long practice test that was due the next day. 

The sun was setting on Sunday now and Karma still hadn't said anything about the party. Or rather, she'd talked about it a lot, about how much fun she'd had and all the people who'd been there, but she hadn't once acknowledged the fact that they'd kissed. Amy had been waiting all weekend for Karma to bring it up. But the weekend was almost over now, and Amy was forced to conclude that Karma either didn't remember the kiss, or didn't think it was a big deal. 

Amy wanted desperately to know which one it was. Because if she didn't think it was a big deal to kiss at the party, maybe it wouldn't be a big deal if Amy kissed her right now. And Amy seriously wanted to kiss her again right now. 

+

An hour of fruitless studying later, Karma dropped her book, sighed, and rested her head on Amy's shoulder. They were both leaning against Karma's wooden bed frame, which wasn't exactly comfortable, but Amy somehow didn't mind.

"Finish memorizing all those world leaders?" Amy asked. 

"Not even close," Karma said. "I'm gonna fail."

Amy turned slightly and kissed Karma on the forehead. "Failure is relative."

"Is that supposed to be comforting?" Karma lifted her head from Amy's shoulder and looked up so Amy could see her rolling her eyes. 

"Sorry," Amy said. "Here, let me try again: You're going to do amazing on your test tomorrow. You are a shining star in a world of darkness."

"Cheesy, but I like it," Karma said. And she leaned in quickly to kiss Amy on the cheek. 

Amy couldn't help grinning. She suddenly started to think that Karma  _did_ remember kissing her at the party. Before she lost her courage, she pecked Karma on the lips and said, "Yeah, I have a way with words."

"I wouldn't go _that_ far," Karma said, but she was smiling and her eyes were practically sparkling. 

 _How far_ would _you go?_ Amy held back the unspoken question and settled for pecking Karma on the lips again instead. But Karma apparently had the same idea. They leaned in at the same time and their lips met in the middle, lingering too long to be considered a peck. 

They both laughed nervously as they pulled away. Amy knew that she should say something, change the subject, or turn back to her schoolwork; she had to do something before this got serious. But Karma was staring at her lips and Amy felt something like a magnetic pull drawing them together. 

Before she could form a coherent thought Karma was already kissing her again. Amy held very still as Karma pressed her lips to hers, eyes wide open, unable to breathe. 

Karma pulled away and stared directly into Amy's eyes. Amy had never seen her best friend look so scared. It felt like there was less air in the room than usual, but somehow more oxygen in her lungs. 

"Amy..." Karma said her name in less than a whisper, her voice heavy with uncertainty. Amy didn't let her finish whatever it was she was going to say. 

This time, when they kissed, Amy knew there was no going back. There was no pulling away and laughing it off. And there was no way they could pretend it never happened. It was happening. It  _was_ happening.

Amy kissed her slowly at first. Karma reached up to cup her face so tentatively that Amy was scared to move too quickly and scare her off. There were so many ways to mess things up, and Amy wanted everything to be perfect. But then Karma started sucking on her bottom lip and stroking her hair and Amy suddenly found it more difficult to hold back. 

She reached for Karma's shoulders and pulled her closer. She knew from experience just how much Karma liked it when she kissed her neck. She couldn't count the number of times she'd heard Karma hiss in frustration when she'd kissed her there on the south wall. Amy had been wanting to hear what she sounded like when she kissed her there in private for a long time.

"Amy..." Karma said her name in more than a whisper, but something like a breath. Amy kissed down her throat and under her chin, lingering in the places that always drove Karma crazy. Karma responded with a sigh that turned into a soft moan when Amy sucked at the skin were her neck met her shoulder and pressed her tongue down hard.

Karma grabbed her face and pulled her up to kiss her again, and it wasn't slow anymore. Amy hadn't realized just how much they'd been holding back when they kissed in public. It was different when they were alone, more forceful, more real. Amy wished she knew what Karma was thinking. Was this as real for her?

Karma moved her hands to Amy's hips and pulled her roughly towards her. Amy let Karma pull her away from the bed frame so she was basically kneeling over her. Amy grabbed Karma's face in both her hands and kissed her again, but she had to pull away, because she really wasn't in the best position for this. 

Karma tried to pull her closer again so Amy took the initiative, lifted one leg, and straddled her best friend, basically sitting in her lap. Amazingly, Karma didn't seem to mind; she only responded by gripping Amy's hips tighter and kissing her harder. 

Somehow, minutes later, Karma was lying flat on the floor, and Amy was leaning down over her, kissing her neck. Karma was running her hands along the skin of her back and down her sides. 

Amy felt like she might float out of her skin at any moment. Karma had one hand grasping her thigh now and Amy wondered if she knew how perilously close her thumb was to making her totally lose it. 

Without warning, Karma shoved her over and suddenly, Amy was the one on her back, with Karma's legs wrapped around her and her lips on her throat. Amy wondered briefly if she was dreaming, but the feel of Karma's tongue on her skin was too sharp and immediate to be a product of her imagination. 

Amy dragged her hand through Karma's hair and pushed her head up so she could kiss her on the lips again. Karma pressed herself closer in response. Amy clenched her hands into fists and tried to just focus on kissing her, exploring her mouth without other people watching for once. 

Karma breathed out heavily through her nose as they kissed. It was almost too much when she bit down on Amy's bottom lip and tugged. Amy couldn't help but moan just a little. At the sound Karma started kissing her almost desperately. She pressed her whole body firmly into Amy's. There was something warm and light pressing on Amy from the inside. Something like excitement and longing so deep it soaked through her. 

Without meaning to and without thinking about it, Amy lifted her hips up to meet Karma's. She pressed up hard against her and held herself there. Amy heard herself gasp when Karma pushed back. She didn't really care about keeping quiet anymore. Karma was kissing her neck again, and slowly rolling her hips into hers; Amy couldn't have held back her moans if she tried. 

She slid her hands up Karma's sides and under her shirt, intending to caress her skin, but she really just ended up holding on for dear life as Karma rocked into her and kissed down her neck. Amy's body responded without her permission. There were moving together now, not quite in rhythm but with matching slowness and intensity. Amy didn't ever want to stop. She could hear Karma's ragged breathing along with her own, feel every inch of Karma's skin that touched hers like an electric charge. 

 

 

And then like a slap on the face, or being dunked in ice water, Amy heard a knock on the door and the sound of Mrs. Ashcroft's voice announcing that it was time for dinner. 

Amy jerked her hands away from Karma but it was too late. Mrs. Ashcroft had already opened the door and it wasn't like she could hide the fact that Karma was literally on top of her.

"Mom!" Karma yelled in outrage. She had sat up quickly at the sound of the knock, but was still had her knees on either side of Amy's legs. There was really no denying what they had just been doing. 

Mrs. Ashcroft merely seemed delighted. "Oh I'm sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt; it's just that your father just took the quinoa off the stove and-"

"Mom!" Karma shouted again. Her face was bright red. "Please leave."

"Alright, just hurry down before the tofu gets cold!" Mrs. Ashcroft walked off, leaving the door wide open. As soon as she was out of sight Karma practically jumped off of Amy and stood up. 

"Wow," Amy said. She was still slightly breathless but she was trying to play it cool. "Thank god we decided to have dinner at your house tonight and not mine. If _my_ mom had walked in on that. . ."

Karma choked out a laugh, her face was still red and she refused to meet Amy's eyes. "At least at your house we'd get some decent food."

Amy stood up and attempted to smooth out her hair before walking downstairs. "Come on, lets go, before the tofu gets cold. You know how I hate cold tofu."

Karma laughed halfheartedly, but she still wouldn't meet Amy's eyes. 

Amy couldn't figure it out. They sat across from one another at the dinner table and yet Karma managed to avoid looking her in the eyes throughout the entire meal. At one point Amy caught her looking her way, but Karma's eyes quickly dropped back to her dinner plate when Amy tried to catch her eye. The dinnertime conversation consisted mostly of Karma's parents chatting about alternative farming methods and trying to engage Karma and Amy in a debate on reviving the barter system of trade.

At one point Mrs. Ashcroft made a poorly disguised joke about what had been going on upstairs and Karma had glared at her, stony faced, until she dropped the subject. 

Amy had been pretty much floating on air up until this point, but suddenly the thought that Karma might be upset dropped like a stone in her stomach. Karma had barely said a word to her since they'd kissed. Granted, neither of them had done much talking while they were upstairs, but still, why the radio silence?

Something was obviously bothering her, Amy could tell. At the time, she'd thought Karma was just as into it as she was, but maybe she had gone too far. She suddenly lost her appetite when she recalled just how far she had gone. What if Karma had been uncomfortable the entire time? She wished, not for the first time, that she could read her best friend's mind, but she had to settle for just asking her what was wrong after dinner.

Unfortunately Karma had other plans. After they finished helping clear the table and wash the dishes, Amy expected they would go upstairs again and hang out until Amy had to go home.

But after she loaded the last plate into the dishwasher, Amy turned around to find Mrs. Ashcroft holding her car keys and Karma holding her school bags, ready to go.

"Karma-" Amy said. Her questions died on her lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Karma said. She glanced at Amy quickly, finally meeting her eyes for the briefest second. Amy didn't have a chance to read the emotions written there. Amy was stunned. Not only was Karma unceremoniously kicking her out of her house- she wasn't even going to come on the five minute car ride to drive her home. 

"Yeah, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then," Amy said, her bewilderment spilling out onto every word. "Bye."

"See you soon," Karma said. She mustered a small smile and walked away, leaving Amy alone with Mrs. Ashcroft for some mother/future-daughter-in-law time bonding.

Amy tried not to dwell on the fact that Karma's goodbye had sounded like a lie.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay wow that was hard to write- I hope it doesn't suck. Sorry about that downer ending. (Don't worry this story obviously ends happily tho (spoilers spoilers))  
> and hey in case you were wondering you can reblog the masterpost for this fic right [ **here** ](http://essentialorphan.tumblr.com/post/100731878481/essentialorphan-breaking-character-pairing) :)


	8. Chapter 8

Karma showed up late to school that day. When she saw Amy she smiled and waved as though nothing was wrong.  
Amy approached her from down the hall, an utterly perplexed half-smile on her face.

"Hey," Karma said, brightly, quickly shoving her excess books into her locker to have an excuse to tear her eyes away from her gorgeous best friend. The best friend she'd practically thrown herself at the night before. Amy looked so good today that Karma was tempted to throw herself again and screw it if Amy didn't feel the same way. 

"Hi... Karma," Amy said slowly. She looked Karma up and down like she'd never seen her before. "Care to tell me why you weren't on the bus this morning?"

"I overslept," Karma said simply, slamming her locker shut and turning to face Amy with what she hoped was an innocent smile. She tried not to let her eyes linger on Amy's lips, or her arms, or her... anything really. "So I got a ride with from my mom."

"Oh." Amy said, a bit of tension leaving her shoulders. "I was worried - I thought you might not show up at all after-"

"And miss a day of vital education?" Karma quickly interrupted. "Don't be silly!"

Amy looked like she couldn't decide whether to laugh or explode with frustration. Karma tried to meet her piercing glare impassively. She absolutely could not let on to Amy how much the events of last night had mattered to her. 

"Okay, Karma, what is going on with you?" Amy finally asked.

"Nothing," Karma said, too quickly. "I'm just- I'm a little bit... I-"

"I know it's not nothing," Amy interjected. "First you kiss me, then you ignore me, and now you're acting like nothing happened?"

Karma faltered at the sight of Amy's earnest expression. She wished she could read Amy's mind now almost as much as she wished she could have read it last night. What had Amy been thinking when Karma kissed her like that? Was is it possible that she had wanted to kiss her too? Karma hadn't really thought about that during the moment. She mostly just thought about how good it felt to be so close to Amy without anybody watching. But after Amy left, and now, in the harsh light of day, it seemed next to impossible that Amy could possible reciprocate her feelings. So now she was doing damage control.

"Can we just- forget last night ever happened?" Karma said.

Amy felt all the air leave her lungs. Forget last night ever happened? That was absolutely the last thing in the world she wanted to do.  
She didn't know what to say. She'd thought, briefly and joyfully, that Karma had finally started feeling what she was feeling, but it turned out, it was just a cruel trick of the light. She said the only thing she could think to say. An honest thing. A question.

"Why?"

Karma shrugged and looked away. "I mean, it's not a big deal, it was bound to happen, we just got too used to... being intimate in public, that we forgot to stop. It didn't mean anything."

Amy squinted one eye skeptically. "If it's not a big deal, then why do we have to forget about it?"

Karma didn't have a good answer for her. "You're right. What I meant to say is, we don't have to forget about it, but we also don't have to talk about it. Cause it's not a big deal."

Amy laughed. But it wasn't a happy Amy laugh. It was bitter and tinged with pain. Karma gulped when she saw Amy's face turn deadly serious. She knew whatever was about to come out of Amy's mouth was going to be brutally honest when she bit down hard on her bottom lip and took a deep breath.

Just then, the bell rang and Karma flinched out of what felt like a dream. She moved to take a step away, but Amy grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

"I should probably-" Karma started to say, but a look from Amy stopped her. There was no use lying. They both knew it was their free period.  
"Maybe it wasn't a big deal to you," Amy said quietly. She shook her head and glanced up at the ceiling sadly. "But it was for me."

Karma stopped trying to pull away. She suddenly felt strangely shaky and out of breath.  
Amy let go off Karma's wrist and shrugged. "And I'm sorry if that freaks you out, or if I went too far. I never wanted to do this stupid fake girlfriends thing in the first place."

She sighed and looked up at the ceiling again. "And while I'm being honest, I might as well tell you- well I mean, this probably goes without saying but- I'm not gonna be able to put on the act anymore."

Karma's heart thudded painfully fast. "Why not?" She asked dumbly.

This time when Amy laughed, it was a real laugh. She threw her hands up and gestured wildly in frustration.

"Because," she said. She had a smile on her face that didn't reach her eyes. "It's not an act for me. It's never been one."

Her smile faded when she continued. "I thought I'd made that kind of obvious last night but... I guess not." She shrugged again and stared at the ground. "So this is me, telling you now."

"Telling me what?"

"Do I really have to spell it out for you Karma?"

"Apparently so." Karma said with an irresistible grin sliding onto her face. "As I seem to be an oblivious idiot."

"Why are you smiling?" Amy said.

"I'm not smiling," Karma said, her smile leaking out into her voice and her grin spreading wider as she shook her head.

"Yes," Amy said, "Yes you are."

Amy couldn't help but smile back. She'd just risked everything and spilled her guts to her best friend and she was sweating and shaky and her gut felt empty and cold but all the same, the sight of Karma's smiling face had the same effect on her it always did. Especially if it meant what she thought it might mean.

"Can you please just spell it out for me?" Karma asked.

"Karma-"

"Please, Amy?"

"Alright alright." Amy said. She took a deep steadying breath and felt her heart warm at the sight of Karma's open, hopeful expression. She noticed Karma's hands twining together nervously and she wanted to reach out and hold them still.

"For a long time now," she began. "No, actually always. We've always been more to each other than just best friends. At least I've always felt that way about you. You're the most important person in my life and when I look at you-"

Amy's voice caught for a moment and she simply stared at Karma. Her long dark red hair falling around her shoulders. Karma was staring holes into her; her eyes never left Amy's face as she spoke.

"When I look at you," Amy repeated. "I don't just see somebody I love. I see the person I love."

Karma was silent. She simply shook her head in what Amy later realized was disbelief. 

"You," Amy said. "You, Karma. You're the person."

Still, Karma said nothing. She seemed to be holding her breath.

"Do you want me to spell it out a bit more?" Amy suggested. "Perhaps I could serenade you?" 

Karma finally let out a breathless laugh. "I don't think that will be necessary."

"Okay good," Amy said. "So..."

"So?"

"Karma, you are actually killing me right now."

"I'm sorry!" Karma exclaimed. "This is really hard for me."

"Hard for you? I just did all the work!" Amy said. Then her voice turned quieter and more timid. "All you have to do is say yes."

Karma looked at the floor, still far too uncertain to respond. She tugged at the hem of her t-shirt nervously until Amy reached out and grabbed both hands in her own. She looked up at her when she felt the pressure. Amy was looking at her with such a steady affection that Karma almost felt like crying. Suddenly the distance between them seemed like too much and not enough at the same time.

"And what exactly am I saying yes to?" Karma asked quietly.

"This," Amy gestured to the space between them and the air there seemed to contain everything. "Me. Us."

"Okay," Karma finally said, without turning her eyes away from Amy's gaze. "I say yes."

 

_

 

"Why didn't you just tell me you liked me?" Karma asked. They were sitting on the swinging bench on Karma's back porch in the afternoon sun. Amy pushed them back and forth lazily with one foot while Karma's slightly shorter legs dangled uselessly. It was a big bench, but they were sitting close with their thighs pressed together. Karma's hand was resting on her own knee but she'd been trying to work up the courage to hold Amy's hand for the past half hour. Everything was different now that they were done pretending. Karma couldn't pass off her various actions as part of an act anymore. She didn't have to. She could hold Amy's hand for real, and Amy would know that she meant it, and that made everything so much harder, especially when Karma wanted to do a lot more than just hold Amy's hand.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Amy asked.

"I was scared. I didn't think there was any chance of it." Karma admitted. "It seemed impossible that you would feel the same way. It still feels a little impossible."

"Wow," Amy said. "And here I was, worried I was being too obvious. How could you have not noticed?"

"I kind of noticed last night," Karma said with a slight blush. "I just couldn't wrap my head around the idea that you might actually like me back. It didn't make sense."

"It makes perfect sense to me," Amy said. She smiled warmly at her and rested her hand on Karma's. She traced her thumb up and down her skin as she spoke. "I just can't believe you never even suspected. Like, why do you think I agreed to having a threesome? Friendship?"

Amy laughed at her own joke, but Karma gasped. "You liked me back then? Even before everything that's happened in the last few weeks?"

Amy gave her a painfully crooked smile. "Since the beginning," she admitted. "As soon as we kissed."

"I am such an idiot," she groaned. Karma wanted to smack herself in the face. At the same time, she felt a rush of happiness at Amy's words.

"Well I wasn't gonna ask but," Amy said, "When did you start to like me?"

"Ever since-" Karma blushed at the memory. "that first time we kissed at the south wall. I... well it was pretty obvious to everyone how much I enjoyed it."

It was Amy's turn to groan. "But that was weeks ago!" Amy complained. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Are you kidding me?" Karma said. "Have I not made it clear how painfully insecure I am?"

"Okay, fair point." Amy conceded. "But are you really so insecure that you can't believe someone might like you after they willingly make out with you daily?"

"That was all for show, though."

"Okay, well what about last night?" Amy asked. "There was nobody around to see that, was there?"

"No..." Karma admitted. "I guess it seems stupid now, but, I felt like, I just lost control, and kissed you, and maybe you didn't want to be rude so you just went with it but you were actually really uncomfortable and-"

"When has not being rude ever been an issue for me?" Amy asked. "Also, it was me that kissed you, so your whole reasoning is busted."

"No, it was definitely me that kissed you."

"I kissed you first," Amy insisted.

"Maybe, but I was the one who escalated it, and after my mom walked in and you pulled away really quick and then acted all casual like, nothing had even happened- I thought maybe that's what you wanted, that you thought it was a mistake, or a joke, and it didn't mean anything to you."

Amy squeezed Karma's hand tight as she babbled on.

"Karma," Amy said slowly and firmly. "It meant everything. Seriously. I'm sorry I didn't make that clear."

"You made it pretty clear," Karma said. "I'm just an idiot."

"Well maybe we're both idiots." Amy allowed.

"I think I could be okay with that." Karma said.

"Me too." Amy said.

They sat in silence for a while, swaying gently as the sky darkened around them. Karma watched the sun descend slowly towards the horizon and felt truly at ease for the first time since she'd realized she was in love with her best friend, maybe even since before that. She turned to look at Amy and found that Amy was already facing her. She had a look on her face that Karma had seen before, many times, but never understood. Now she thought she did.

"Hey Amy?" Karma asked, looking back towards the sunset.

"Yeah?"

"Do you wanna go up to my room?"

"God yes," Amy said.

Karma laughed and stood up, leading Amy by the hand, back into the house, up the stairs, and into her bedroom.

At the sight of the books and papers still on the floor Karma was suddenly vividly reminded of the night before, Amy flat on her back on the floor, her hands under her shirt, her lips on her neck, her legs wrapped around her legs.

The sun had truly set now and it was dark in Karma's room, so Amy walked over to the lamp by her bed and flipped it on. Karma wished she hadn't, because her cheeks had started to redden at the memory of last night. She wondered how far they would have gone if her mom had not interupted. Her parents were not home now, she remembered. She wasn't sure where they were but she recalled that on the drive to school that morning her mom had told her that they wouldn't be back until later. Karma suddenly wished she'd payed more attention to what time her mother had said. She didn't want to be interrupted again.

Amy was standing next to Karma's bed, blocking the light from the lamp so that it shone out from behind her. Karma almost laughed. It wasn't like Amy needed help looking angelically beautiful, yet there she was, bathed in a halo of warm orange light, looking at Karma, waiting.

Karma locked the door.

Amy's eyebrows shot up.

"Shut up," Karma said.

"I didn't say anything," Amy said. Which was true enough, so Karma ignored it and walked towards her, removing the distance between them in a few steps.

Amy's mouth turned up in a half smile. "If I didn't know any better I'd think you were trying to-"

Karma stepped forward and did what she'd been wanting to do all day. She kissed her. Amy smiled into her lips and pulled back a bit to try to finish her sentence, but Karma didn't let her. She pulled her back with one hand on her on the small of her back and the other pressing into the back of her head, tangling into her blonde hair. Amy kissed her back and sighed just the slightest bit as Karma opened her mouth and slid her hand down her neck.

Karma thought of all the times she'd heard Amy sigh like that. All the times she'd tasted Amy's lips before: at school, on the bus, at the south wall. All those times she'd kissed her blindly, without knowing. Never knowing whether Amy was there with her, or whether she wanted to be. Now she knew. And now it was so much better.

Amy was backing up into the bed behind her, or maybe Karma was pushing her there. But either way, Amy's legs were now pressed against the side of the mattress and she leaned back much further she would surely fall.

Karma smiled into Amy's mouth and shoved her backwards.

Amy laughed wildly as she fell, but her laughter quickly turned to faint panting as Karma followed her descent onto the bed, straddled her, and started kissing her neck.

"Wow," Amy said between breaths. "This is so much different."

"Good different?" Karma asked.

"Great different," Amy said. "Amazing different."

 

-


End file.
